Im making this post to talk about how i'm feeling about my life right now. Honestly, life has been soooo much fun lately. I feel so freakin alive and free. It's such a blessing to feel this way. I feel like i'm becoming more mindful every single day. I've been doing a mindfulness practice everyday for the past 2 months and I can truly say that i'm seeing results. There's a lot less overthinking in my life, my mind quiets down a lot easier and best of all, I feel like I can choose how I want to feel. I feel so in control of my thoughts and I can quiet my mind with just a couple breaths now. Breathing is the greatest gift that we have and we don't even realize it. I'm also doing things that I love, things that I want and i'm meeting people who accept me for who I am. Many people have come up to me and told me how great of a person I was in recent weeks. People literally will look at my blog without me even having to post it. That makes me so happy to know that people appreciate my blog and go out of their way to check it. I can't believe i'm saying this in such a weird time if my life right now but I feel great. I feel so relieved that I made it through such a tough time. Someone who I loved so much and meant the world to me, did something very hurtful to me and took themselves out of my life. But that's okay because when I felt like I lost a part of myself, I found an even larger part of myself. I'm growing so much so fast and learning tons about myself and what I love to do. I'm realizing who I really wanna surround myself with. For once in my life, I feel like i'm really starting to love myself fully. I'm worth so much more than I thought and I deserve my own happiness. I don't need others to make me happy because i'm doing things I love and that's what matters. I'm extremely thankful to be blessed with a great family and friends who love and support everything I do. I'm really beginning to appreciate what I have and starting to pay attention to what I have and not what I don't. Life is such a blessing and i'm having so much fun! I couldn't be happier with myself and the person who I'm becoming (striving to be). I'm focusing on myself currently and becoming more in love with ME! Life is great and I just want y'all to know that if your going through a very hard time like I was (still am kinda), you will find the light in time and it'll shine even brighter than before.
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Intro Everyday for a lot of us, including me are at a constant battle with ourself. It's not necessarily "ourself" but more of a false sense of self. I call it the ego and i believe that our ego is separate from who we actually are based off my personal experience. The ego is the voice in your head that always is choosing power, hate, jealousy, greed, pride, etc. It's very loud and for most part we can only hear the ego therefore we spend good portions of our day listening to it. The ego is truculent, it's seems to always want to resist the truth of things. It wants to take the reality of life and distort it so that it feels comfort. It's defiant to anything it senses that may be harmful. Then have our true inner voice. The voice that is very quiet and faint. We can hear it in almost all situations but we choose not to listen to it because it doesn't serve best for our ego. That's where the tension comes in. I've learned that our true inner voice aka our intuition knows best for us. Now just because it knows what's truly best for us doesn't mean it'll look best on the surface. The ego is so shallow that it doesn't want to see through the surface. It's in denial of the true essence. It wants to keep things at a shallow level so it's not harmed or broken in any way. The ego is such a small part of who we truly are but we let it almost overcome us totally on a daily basis. Inner voice In my lifetime, i've found out that our inner voice is the one that you know is true. Like even though you can hear your ego talking, you still know that other voice seems best. It's like a deep gut feeling that you can feel and sometimes we're afraid to listen to our intuition because our ego will be harmed. I do know that in all situations, our inner voice consists of oneness, compassion, gratitude, kindness and forgiveness. These are all aspects of what true love is. Our intuition always chooses love, self love. It knows what's truly best for us and when you have self love, you do what's best for you. Listening to your intuition is your guidance in life. It'll always be the light when your path seems dark. It's always lit just very faint for many of us, including me at times. As long as you listen to your intuition, it'll guide you in life: your journey. It will take you where you need to be, because when your living through that inner voice, your living your true purpose. Your opening yourself up to your maximum potential. It almost seems like a leap of faith to start trusting your inner voice. It's not always something we can trust because again it may not seem positive on the surface. (Our ego mind (voice) is the one to label what's happening because it craves for understanding) It's very difficult to go with it but it'll only help you grow more on the individual level. If you choose to follow your intuition, your life will begin to transform in unknown ways. You can align your life directly with your purpose. The intuition is our ticket on the one way train to freedom. But sometimes there's something distracting us from that train. Another voice, entity like, that we choose to follow because it's seems safe. Ego The ego is your false sense of self. The ego sees everything as separate and cannot see the oneness in life. It can seriously distort our reality in which this limits us from reaching our true potential. The way I know notice my ego is when I find myself thinking only of me, taking something personally and fearing the future or thinking about the past. Those are the 3 biggest and most obvious ways I can't tell that my ego is present. It's funny because it all starts with becoming present that there is another sense of self trying to take control to know that there's an ego. The ego is very fragile and in a way immature. Your egoic mind wants to always feel apart of something, it has a desire to be more. It cannot be content with what is already, it thrives on more. That is why you complain when your bored because it's your ego in resistance to the moment. It feels the need to be doing something else and can't just be. The ego will always have expectations and if these are not fulfilled then it is hurt. It's just an ongoing cycle of pain and suffering in your life. Power is its number one motivator. If the ego does not feel a sense of power, it'll become unsatisfied, unhappy and will create tension. It will feel left out in a sense. Unfulfilled. It always seeks to gain power over people, over situations and feelings. For example, if your ego feels theatened by someone, you'll experience the egoic feelings of which are jealously and hatred. The ego also likes to become attached to everything. People especially, it'll try an act like that person is yours. It will literally claim objects, things, people to be there's. The ego can't handle temporary things. Its needy and it feels the need for everything. It's like an energy vampire. It'll suck up all the energy it can from that thing and once it's realized there's no more, it'll continue it's search for more. More, more, more. Ego's can't accept change. It doesn't want change because it only seeks for everlasting comfort. The does not understand being content with just BEING. It needs some sort of excitement or rush in life so it feels okay and apart of something. But it does not really understand the wholeness of our existence, it cannot fathom the totality. That is far too threatening for the ego. Im strong because I've been weak. Going through a time of weakness is where you're almost forced to be strong. You have to look deep within to find that strength to keep going forward. You won't ever find the true inner strength searching outward. It is only attainable from within, and every outer feeling is temporary. Don't try an look to another source to help you find strength. You can't allow yourself to be weak for too long, but it's almost inevitable that you'll become stronger from the pain and weakness. Getting to a point of true weakness will only leave you with two options; that's to totally give up or keep pushing through. If you choose to keep pushing through, that's where you'll find your strength, it's where you know how much you can take and it's where you find a big part of yourself. You grow from the weakness if you face it. On the other hand, you can run away from it, you can find something else to temporaliy block it out but you'll never really grow. You might think you are but you realize that your right back where you started. You won't find any strength in running away. Facing your weakness will transcend it into strength. Remember that resistance only makes stronger so when you resist the pain and weakness, your only causing it to become stronger. Even though it may look like it's gone, it's only gone temporaliy but when your weak again, it'll won't be any better. It could possibly be only be worse. No one said that growing would seem positive on the surface. Yes it will hurt a lot more when you start to embrace the weakness but in time it'll only become better and you'll learn what it really means to accept your emotions and feelings. This is why you'll grow because when a tough situation is present again, you'll have the strength to see through it and accept it. Being so weak can only make you so strong.
Its okay to miss someone. Missing someone is not always a bad thing. When you miss someone you have to accept that you miss them. Like honestly, when you find yourself thinking about them a lot, it's obvious that you miss them. There's something I've learned called foolish pride. It's when you know you miss someone deep down but you keep telling yourself "oh no i don't miss them". This is because of your pride, you really miss them but you simply don't wanna admit it. You can miss someone because of what they were to you. Because of what they showed you, the times you guys had, the things you learned from each other. You can miss just being around them, seeing them smile and being in their presence. It was a privilege to meet that person. It doesn't matter what they did for you or to you, it was still a privilege to meet them. I miss someone and i'm so proud to be able to say I met them and miss them too. The love that i've developed for that person is so strong and im genuinely glad that I got the opportunity to be apart of their life. I'm proud that I got the chance to be in their presence out of 7 billion people on this planet. I'm proud of all the things i've learned from them and all the ways i've grown. It's more than okay to miss someone who meant so much to you. You should always be greatful that it even happened. Because it was by luck that you ever crossed paths with them. Don't resist it when you feel like you miss someone, it only makes it stronger. Let yourself miss them, don't fight against it, don't let your ego tell you else wise. Just allow it. It's a beautiful thing to truly miss someone. Let yourself feel the way you do and whatever happens, happens because when you love someone, you'll miss them. That's all there is to it.
Dont be afraid to get up, to try again, to love again, to live again and to dream again. Don't let a hard lesson harden your heart. Life's best lessons are often learned at the worst times and from the worst mistakes. There will be times when everything that could possibly go wrong is going wrong. You might feel like you'll be stuck feeling that way forever. All that you see is darkness and you feel totally lost in it. But you won't. When you feel like quitting or giving up for good, just remember that sometimes things have to go very wrong before they can be right. Sometimes you have to go through the worst to arrive at your best. Dont ever lose faith, the path isn't always lit up. You gotta grow in the darkness. The sun will shine again.
Sometimes bad things happen to good people. You can totally be yourself, not doing anything wrong and only trying to be a positive influence but negative things can still happen to you. Yeah no one deserves to be hurt, no one deserves to be broken or crushed or let down. In life, things won't always go as planned. When something dramatically goes wrong in my life, I like to think about what it's showing me. All this pain and hurting that I'm undergoing right now in my life is for a reason. It has its purpose. Sometimes people are ripped apart on the inside but only to let new light in. You'll learn that the bad parts of life are tests. They're there to make you into your greatest version. They do serve a purpose even though on the surface it may not look that way. Everything will unfold and you'll understand why it happened and why it hurt the way it did in time. It's better to just allow yourself to be hurt, don't resist it because resistance only makes stronger. So when your feeling down or it's been a tough day, let yourself feel the way you do. You'll learn something from it by accepting that it's happening. You can't run away from the pain, it'll just keep coming back. You have to learn how to put your feet down and embrace the darkness. Be with it so you can begin to understand why it's happening. When something no longer serves a positive purpose in your life, accept it meaning you might be in a lot of pain but by accepting it means that you'll soon be able to let go. As you continue on your journey through life, you'll have to shedd energies away, youll
lose some people but that's okay because it's part of the inner growth. No one said that your growth will always seem positive. Growth comes in weird forms. You may not know your growing but once your put to a test again, you'll begin to see that growth. So these bad times in your life are only sign posts. They're only helpers in disguise. You won't see it now but I promise if you accept the bad times, in time you'll understand why and how it made you stronger. Grow from the pain. Today I had a very interesting experience. I took a walk through a forest for about 2 hours. First things first, nature is a healer. A forest carries a lot of wisdom in it. I decided that I'd take advantage of the beautiful day to go on a walk and relive some tension I was carrying. Right now, I'm currently going through a rough patch in my life. As I was walking today, I ran into an old lady. Now before I even said a word to this lady or looked her in the eyes, she knew that something wasn't right in my life. It was like she could feel that something wasn't okay with me. She approached me and said "Hello child". The first thing she did after was give me a big hug. I think I hugged this lady for about 30 seconds straight. She then looked me in the eyes and I could sense her love and compassion for me. I had no idea who this lady was but I could feel her appreciation for me. She then said to me "I love you child and I want to give you my blessing". This was the most genuine lady I have ever met in my life. She truly loved and cared for me even though we were basically strangers. She told me to put out my hands and she held onto them and closed her eyes. She began to pray for me, saying many prayers and wishing me the best energy and all the blessings from the universe. It was almost overwhelming because of the amount of joy and bliss I felt from her. She literally spoke to me and cared about me like she was my mother. For a moment I could feel the true connection between us. I felt as if I was her child. It was breathtaking. It helped me understand how some people can really just love humans unconditionally even strangers. It was such a warm feeling that I got from this lady. She understood that I'd been hurt in a deep way and I hadn't said a word to her about what I was going through. This lady came up to me, I didn't approach her. It was basically impossible for her to know how I was feeling but she somehow could feel it from such a distance and went out of her way to talk to me. We never once shook hands, it was only hugs. After she gave me her blessings, she insisted on hugging me again so we did. Then the lady put her hand up to my forehead and said one more blessing. She told me that I was a child of god and that I was loved unconditionally by god. I said back to this lady "thank you so much" and I started telling her how much I appreciated what she had done for me. This lady's religion was Hinduism and it turns out she has 2 kids of her own. What a concidential event that happened to me today. It just so happens that I ran into his lady on a really rough day and she knew how I was feeling without even saying a word. Life is so amazing and today was a very surreal and somewhat emotional experience. People are truly awesome! I've realized that they're are some great people out there who care and love everyone. This lady showed me that and I now have faith in that. What a day...
The reason I do not like social media is because more than half the things you see are not what they seem. When your on social media, your nothing but an outsider looking in unless you 100% know that or the person itself. Social media is a HUGE cover up nowadays. People only wanna show you the good parts of their life. A lot of people only post the positive things that you wanna see. No one wants to show you want you don't wanna see... unless your authentic ;). But honestly, come on now, nobody really wants to see when you were sad or stressed or when you were bored and not doing anything, etc. They only show you the 1 week vacation to Hawaii not the 3 days you sat inside doing nothing. No one wants to see the boring aspects of your life. So now people are starting to lose their value, their uniqueness, their authenticity because they only show you the great, exciting aspects of their life. Personally, I consider myself authentic so I won't just show you the good times. I don't care about my appearance to others and anything I do on social media is to connect with people or express things for myself. That's why you don't see me upload a lot of pictures on instagram or tweet really catchy tweets or anything like that because I don't feel the need. I don't feel like I need to share it with anyone else but myself and if you see it by a chance, then so be it. I do everything for myself, no need to flaunt to others or anything because I've already experienced it for myself and that's enough. I'll show you the times I was up and the times I was down. I'm not going to sugar coat anything, ill show the true me without any filter behind it as you should do the same.
People will never understand what you've been put through. They'll never understand what I've been put through. They don't feel the same pain you've felt, they aren't in your shoes. Everyone is just on the outside looking in. Their understanding is so limited because of their perception. In this world, we go through so many experiences that shape you or rip you apart as an individual. I've felt so crushed before to a point where it was like I was at rock bottom. People wouldn't understand what they've put you through, they wouldn't understand what you've gone through for them. They don't know the secret sacrifices you make when they're not around. I've been sent down to a point so low where I've felt like I've lost everything. It's in those times where you grow the most. The pain only lasts so long until it forces you to open the blinds and grow from it. The darkness never stays too long. I can proudly say that everything I've been through though, has made me the strong person I am today. Without those experiences I've had, I would've never found the strength and oppportunity to grow from them. When no one understands you, there's always you there who gets it fully. You realize that your the only person that's ever so there for you. Your the only one who understands the way you feel and why you feel that way. This is why I don't believe in explaining yourself to people because they'll never see the world through your eyes, your lenses. You couldn't begin to imagine the way someone else feels because you simply aren't in their shoes. I always tell myself to remember that you may have things in common but you'll never truly see through someone if you can't relate. In the end, you'll always be there for yourself, you'll always understand yourself and that's the beauty of it. A relationship with yourself is worth more than any other being on this planet.
I've learned that in life, when we have no control over what's happening now, the best option is to accept and flow with it. How do we just "flow" with it though? Well if your in an uneasy situation, the first thing you want to do is decide if it's something you can change fully yourself or can't at all. If you realize that you can't change it at all, first, start by taking some breathes. Pay attention to your breathing for a couple of seconds. Just be here and now with your breath, don't think about the problem but keep awareness on the breath. Feel the calm, relaxing feeling of the inhale and then feel the exhale. As you exhale, just imagine that your exhaling all the negative unwanted energy from your body. Once you've taken a couple breathes, just sit there and observe if you still feel tense, upset or any feeling that was there previously, just watch it. What I mean by this, is to be the observer, don't think about the emotions you feel, let yourself feel them without giving it a label or thought. You'll start to gain clarity and a sense of control over your thoughts, emotions. You see that there's a higher power that has now come into play and you are no longer the victim of your mind, your only the observer, the awareness that is aware your even thinking. This is how to flow with what is, by accepting what is and not giving it a label. See it for what it truly is beyond the temptation of the mind to define it and you will no
longer become affected by it. People nowadays including me all feel pressured by society. We feel so influenced now a days by everyone and thing around us. With all this pressure, it's hard to have a clear path of what you want to pursue as an individual. We look at what others have and what we don't have and that kills us internally. We compare ourselves to others all the time, I know I do it at times but at least I'm becoming conscious of it. I make the effort to not look at what others have and focus on what I have. You have your own life. Your path is personalized to only you! No one else will ever walk your exact path. So that's why when you don't have something others do, then just flow with it. No material possession is worth more than inner peace. It's the greatest gift on earth that we all have the potential to find. Trying to control where life is taking you won't help. Something's are meant to happen for the best of us. Things may not look good on the surface but you'll understand in time why it happened and happened the way it did. The universe works in your favor when you start to go with what is. The universe is you! And it knows what's best for you. YOUniverse. Others may not understand the path you choose and that's 100% okay because you don't have to explain. They'll never understand, they've never felt what you've felt, never seen what you've seen or experienced what you've experienced. There's no use in trying to explain your journey to people who don't understand. The ones who do understand, are the ones who understand. Those who don't, don't. Be at one with life, run with the wind and go wherever life takes you. Move into your intuition and walk with a purpose. It's okay to be different, it's okay to live a life others wouldn't understand because at the end of the day, all rivers lead to the sea! Have an amazing day! |